I’m experiencing something unpleasant right now, something that I think everyone has to go through as they grow older. I don’t know if there’s a name for it or not, so I’m going to create one right now… Next-Generation Toy Envy or, colloquially, “Why didn’t they have this when I was a kid?”
You know what I’m talking about. Sure, they had pizza hut Barbie (that comes with her own pizza and pizza slicer) when you were 12, but now they have Nina Action Barbie of DOOM with her own car that she can actually drive that actually uses gas. And her own working iPhone 4 that actually receives text messages from other dolls. Etc. Next-Generation Toy Envy. It happens to us all.
For real though… why didn’t they have these when I was a kid:
I used to love light up shoes. I had a few pairs when I was young enough to get away with them, and I’ve been known to tell anyone who will listen that I would still wear them if it were socially acceptable.
THESE ARE COOLER THAN LIGHT UP SHOES.
They’re called Twinkle Toes, by Sketchers, and they be ballin’. Each of the Boy’s 5 nieces who range in age from almost-2 to 6 has a pair and I am a little ashamed of how envious I am.
I tend to like things that sparkle. And things that are colorful. These shoes, these Twinkle Toes, are the most harmonious, perfect, balanced blend of those two traits and by God I want a pair! And not only are they sparkly and colorful, there are about two hundred and fifty different styles and combinations of sparkly colorfulness to choose from. I was never too much of a demander as a kid, especially growing up without a ton of money to be had by all, but I would have demanded these. I would have wanted… needed…. these ones, these ones, these ones, and, most especially, these ones. To start.
The most upsetting thing about the whole situation is knowing that soon they’re going to have something even cooler.
I wonder if I could custom order a pair in my size…..
Today’s Reading: Burger King Pizza Burger :: Do Not Eat This!